is definitely not healthy. However I believe it produces great hallucinations and noble ideas. Only in situations like this I remember that I actually want to buy a tablet for my sis, some day. Isn't that awesome? I think she has great potential with graphics, unlike me.

I believe that in everyone's life there comes a point in time where they ask themselves: What the fsck am I going to do now? Yeah, I believe it now. Previously I thought it would never happen to me. I had my whole damn life planned in detail even before I was 7th grade in elementary school. Yet the moment came, finally.

Question remains unanswered, while impulses are wandering to the moon and back, and the answering machine inside procrastinates the hard problems for better days. Frankly I think I just wish I could make my electric piano work. I guess that me being a lazy ass that can't bother to re-wire another 220V-12V AC/DC doesn't help either.

I want to finish my new "album" while I'm still young - or at least not too old. Its half-way there. But the last songs need to be awesome. I still remember making "Lost Dreams", its my all-time favorite along with "Portrait of Vanessa Mae".

The songs have to be at least three.

One needs to be calm and long with melodies I've never made or used before: Calm, slow but surprising, like drifting away into a weird, weird dream, getting lost, forgetting everything, and watching the colors of the music. Perhaps something like Jean Michel Jarre's brilliant "Waiting for Cousteau", at least in pace: much richer in melody, much sadder in tone, but still achieving the same rich color visualization with a sprinkle of drifty drowsy sleepy sadness.

The other will be a regular old fashioned instruments-only love story. The Sax will love the strings, but flirt with the drums. The guitar will sing about the old wild days a bit, and everyone will be secretly in love with her. A shy piano will make a serenade for the strings only to remain alone in the silence, producing voices that say: Come back, my friends, my love, please come back - all of you.

The third will be a rampaging monster - dirty technical-sounding electronic music, hopefully even better than Hollow Awakening (made with exNewk by the way, and you can get it at [link]). If I'm able to get an electric guitar for recording, it will be even better...

and better...

But damn I'm getting old. Also, 30 hours without sleep. I better go.